Normally my blogs are just goofs. Tomorrow (or whenever I decide to post again) will be something profoundly insane. I want to take a brief hiatus from that today.
What a crazy, mixed up world we live in. War all around us. The stock market reaches a new historic low each day. People are getting laid off. Food pantries are running out of canned food. Clemson has to win out just to make a bowl game. They were supposed win the ACC, and possibly make a national championship run! What else will go wrong in this world?!! It saddens me. This is the only world I've ever lived in. I'm sentimental about it. I like living here. Why does everything have to fall apart?!! Ah, doom and gloom.
Two thousand years ago, the ultimate love sacrifice was made for my ignorant butt. Yours too (I'm not calling you ignorant). Whether we choose to fully trust in Him or not, He's always there for us. Bailing us out. We are like a sheep, harassed and helpless. Thankfully He has compassion on us. Who else can we turn to in this world?!! People will always let you down. Your football team won't always win ACC championships. This life will crush you. Thanks be to God we don't have to be of this world.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Etiquette
DISCLAIMER: Reading/checking this blog will be a complete waste of your time. I don't have anything interesting to say. I'm not particularly astute. What I will do every post (when I post) is bring up something trivial that, more than likely, will not even make sense. Blogs from one day to another will be completely random, with absolutely no continuity. Add this to the ever-increasing pile of cyber junk out there that can only be found by a Google search. Sounds great, doesn't it? With that being said, let's get started.
Etiquette: What a strange word. What a strange concept as well. Following the general guidelines of "etiquette" basically means doing and/or saying things a certain way because other people think other people want it done that way. For example, person A passes wind. Person A says to person B: "Oh, excuse me." Saying excuse me doesn't erase the toot from anyone's mind. Everyone still knows person A tooted. Why should I say "excuse me?" Why not "Who let the dogs out?" or "Whoa, that one smelled like cabbage." The next thing out of my mouth will in no way distract anyone from the noxious fumes. "Excuse me" is irrelevant. To me, it's the same thing as purposely running someone over with a car and then apologizing. It don't change whatcha dunn.
Alright, if that example doesn't do it for you, try this one. Suppose person A says to person B, "Please hold my wallet while I park my scooter." "Etiquette" would urge person B to actually hold person A's wallet until he returns. Ludicrous! Run I tell you! So what if your Paw-paw once told you it's not polite to steal. Will "Etiquette" buy you a new pair of dolphin skin leg warmers? I seriously doubt it.
I guess what I'm saying is, everything's relative to your situation. If you don't like Aunt Tina's meatloaf, tell her. If you think your best friend's girl is better looking than yours, trade. So what if there's long-term ramifications. So what if you'll spend the next 7-18 years running from the law. Let your id/ego (Freud) out to bask in the glory that is immediate self gratification. Can I get a Honoluluh? Whoo! I wanna go there!
Etiquette: What a strange word. What a strange concept as well. Following the general guidelines of "etiquette" basically means doing and/or saying things a certain way because other people think other people want it done that way. For example, person A passes wind. Person A says to person B: "Oh, excuse me." Saying excuse me doesn't erase the toot from anyone's mind. Everyone still knows person A tooted. Why should I say "excuse me?" Why not "Who let the dogs out?" or "Whoa, that one smelled like cabbage." The next thing out of my mouth will in no way distract anyone from the noxious fumes. "Excuse me" is irrelevant. To me, it's the same thing as purposely running someone over with a car and then apologizing. It don't change whatcha dunn.
Alright, if that example doesn't do it for you, try this one. Suppose person A says to person B, "Please hold my wallet while I park my scooter." "Etiquette" would urge person B to actually hold person A's wallet until he returns. Ludicrous! Run I tell you! So what if your Paw-paw once told you it's not polite to steal. Will "Etiquette" buy you a new pair of dolphin skin leg warmers? I seriously doubt it.
I guess what I'm saying is, everything's relative to your situation. If you don't like Aunt Tina's meatloaf, tell her. If you think your best friend's girl is better looking than yours, trade. So what if there's long-term ramifications. So what if you'll spend the next 7-18 years running from the law. Let your id/ego (Freud) out to bask in the glory that is immediate self gratification. Can I get a Honoluluh? Whoo! I wanna go there!
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Wind pants
DISCLAIMER: Reading/checking this blog will be a complete waste of your time. I don't have anything interesting to say. I'm not particularly astute. What I will do every post (when I post) is bring up something trivial that, more than likely, will not even make sense. Blogs from one day to another will be completely random, with absolutely no continuity. Add this to the ever-increasing pile of cyber junk out there that can only be found by a Google search. Sounds great, doesn't it? With that being said, let's get started.
Wind pants...where would we be without them? What a wonderful invention. Made out of nylon. Zippers in weird places. Hidden compartments. I venture to say that all a person needs to survive if stranded is a pair of wind pants. Use one of the pockets to trap a squirrel. Slide the zippers up and down as fast as you can to send S.O.S. signals. If you're fat enough, cut out a rectangular section and make a shelter. The possibilities are endless. Blah blah blah.
Why do I like wind pants so much? Yes, the reasons mentioned above are more than valid. For me, however, it's about convenience. Try to wear a 3 piece suit to bed and roll out the next morning without ironing. Can't do it. I haven't changed my wind pants in over a month. Why should I? The fabric wicks my sweat away. Squirt 'em down with some Febreeze and they barely smell. They make unbelievably comfy PJ's. I even bathe in them. It takes about 20-30 minutes for them to air dry.
Wind pants have taken a fashion "hit" lately. Cargo pants, jeans, and buckskin leather are all the rage in the discos. Me? I'll never abandon my wind pants. They've stuck with me (and sometimes to me) better than a brother. I say it's a sign of valor to wear wind pants. Next time you see a 300 pound guy wearing a wind suit, and he looks like he's on his way to "wack a guy 'cause he heard things," shake his hand. He's a marvel of the 21st century.
Wind pants...where would we be without them? What a wonderful invention. Made out of nylon. Zippers in weird places. Hidden compartments. I venture to say that all a person needs to survive if stranded is a pair of wind pants. Use one of the pockets to trap a squirrel. Slide the zippers up and down as fast as you can to send S.O.S. signals. If you're fat enough, cut out a rectangular section and make a shelter. The possibilities are endless. Blah blah blah.
Why do I like wind pants so much? Yes, the reasons mentioned above are more than valid. For me, however, it's about convenience. Try to wear a 3 piece suit to bed and roll out the next morning without ironing. Can't do it. I haven't changed my wind pants in over a month. Why should I? The fabric wicks my sweat away. Squirt 'em down with some Febreeze and they barely smell. They make unbelievably comfy PJ's. I even bathe in them. It takes about 20-30 minutes for them to air dry.
Wind pants have taken a fashion "hit" lately. Cargo pants, jeans, and buckskin leather are all the rage in the discos. Me? I'll never abandon my wind pants. They've stuck with me (and sometimes to me) better than a brother. I say it's a sign of valor to wear wind pants. Next time you see a 300 pound guy wearing a wind suit, and he looks like he's on his way to "wack a guy 'cause he heard things," shake his hand. He's a marvel of the 21st century.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
SpongeBob vs. Uncle Stew
DISCLAIMER: Reading/checking this blog will be a complete waste of your time. I don't have anything interesting to say. I'm not particularly astute. What I will do every post (when I post) is bring up something trivial that, more than likely, will not even make sense. Blogs from one day to another will be completely random, with absolutely no continuity. Add this to the ever-increasing pile of cyber junk out there that can only be found by a Google search. Sounds great, doesn't it? With that being said, let's get started.
Entry #1
An unknown philosopher from the 17th century once said, "Life is like a box of chocolates..."
I think a more adequate saying is "Life is like a sink of dirty dishes." Think about it. So much of our daily lives consist of things that we really don't want to do. Don't you ever just get sick of "things" getting in the way of your ability to get lost in an episode of Spongebob? Walk the dog. Paint the car. Water the cactus. Lick the envelopes. Flip uncle Stew over onto his stomach (bed sores). Blah Blah Blah. It never ends.
What we all need is an out; something that will "make it all just go away." I have found my out: Procrastination, my friend! That's my golden ticket! Now I know what some of you are thinking..."What are you suggesting? That we quit our jobs and sit at home watching tv? Because if you are, how would we pay the electric bill?" That's exactly what I'm suggesting. Quit your job right now. Stop showering. Don't pay your phone bill and then the creditors can't call and harrass you. "What if they take my house and tv?" To that I say, don't bother me with your petty problems. Besides, does anybody actually know who "they" are anyway?
Look, I know this line of thinking laughs in the face of conventional wisdom. Well, if you consider yourself "conventional" or "wise," then I'm not going to be able to sway you. I'm not trying to get your vote. Rwanda already has a president. I'm just trying to get you to see things from a moss grower's perspective. Maybe the next time you see some homeless guy sitting on a fold out chair watching tv through the window of another person's house, you'll have compassion on him. Just think of all the things he didn't allow himself to do in order to get where he is now. Give him a hot pocket and an orange soda. After all, he earned it.
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